Words from the (not so) wise...

My throat is closing up.

I just bought my Eurail pass and due to my inability to plan efficiently I have to pay a 35 dollar shipping fee to get it out here before I take-off. It's a chronic disease, my lack of planning. For a self-proclaimed tight-ass you would think I would have all of this stuff taken care of months in advance to avoid fees and stress like this!

Perhaps I am living in a bit of a fantasy land that all will take care of itself and I can just walk off the plane into German bliss. That fantasy is getting a little pinprick of reality - just enough to let it burst the last three days of being home I am sure. Purchasing this train ticket is just the beginning! Everything on their Bahnhof (train station) website is in German (surprise, surprise) and I can't read German (even bigger of a surprise). What ever made me think I would magically be able to interpret anything over there?

It looks like becoming a language aficionado is going to be added to my list of things to accomplish! So far I have had to get my license renewed, all of my credit and debit cards expire half-way through my trip so they have to be renewed as well, I have to have some mildly serious dental work done, have an x-ray done on my arm because I am convinced I have a stress-fracture, get my hair cut and pack - all before the 27th.

I would be lying if I said I wasn't scared. I am. I really, really am. (Can you tell by my above inscribed freak-out?) This trip has been 2 years in the making and has sounded great and cool coming out of my mouth when I tell people about it. But now I have to actually do it. Just buying the Eurail pass on an American website was stressful enough, which makes me think that I won't ever leave my dorm and will have to make a bunch of shit up to put in my blog to keep all of my dedicated readers interested. How can I handle all of the change coming my way? Sure I have a Eurail pass, but when I get off the plane and can't figure out which train to board to get me from Frankfurt to Aalen my Mother will probably receive a call from a melting puddle that used to be her daughter.

Regardless, a lot of change is coming my way. I am convinced that something HUGE is going to happen me on this trip. Whether it is more transcendental and takes place within my soul or it materializes into something more physical like a job or permanent residence in Europe, a lot is about to be revamped. I asked my Mother what made her think I was capable of handling this. Her response was nothing less than straight-forward: "Jaimie, a lot of kids have done this before you and I can guarantee that a lot of them are bigger idiots than you."

That right there is 100% pure Mother confidence. You just can't bottle that stuff and sell it on a shelf! I guess she is right. I don't know what I am doing and I have to embrace this trip fully as a learning experience. So I have to spend an extra 26 dollars on shipping for a train pass. I won't ever make that same mistake again. And 26 dollars is probably nothing when it comes to the amount of money and mental energy I will spend just covering my butt for all of the other things I didn't know about. This can only be looked at as a classic example of failing up."

And if my throat closes up again due to stress, thank God Germany has socialized health care!